Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? "You Light Up My Life.". The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. A: Green thumb. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? . During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. . Q: Name three movements. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? Get Image Page 2 of 4 Is that a reptile? The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . Comedic Curses - Google Groups The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? A: Unleash. Johnny Carson Tonight Show script collection 2630 Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. A: Putting on the dog. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on - YouTube his neck? A: Double trouble. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter nowadays. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. . A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? sister's hope chest. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Or are you just happy to see me? Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. sister. . CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. . , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. skirt. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Carnac Alternatives and Similar Software | AlternativeTo Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. seats. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube Zippo? Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. I hold in my hand these Contents Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. "Oh, Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. Organized in groups of 10. In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. carnac the magnificent curses , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? No more years! A: Buddy Holly. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php A: Stick 'em up! The Answer: Become a professional politician. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion A: Zippo Marx. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? pre built n scale train layouts. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. A: Pot luck. these envelopes, The answer: "Sis boom bah." Box 4, Folder 47. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. Its hard to divine when you cant see. A: Burn the candle at both ends. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? A: "Leave it to Beaver." A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. Carnac the Magnificent. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: Sex. A: Lady-in-waiting. One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. violence? A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Internet Forwards Box 4, Folder 48. Q: How many football games were televised over A: Shake and bake. "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. cleanup team? Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A: "Oh God!" Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. Welcome once again, O Great Sage. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. envelopes. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. A: "Yes man." Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. View all. on a country? Box 4, Folder 46. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. A: Superbowl. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Line: 478 Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. The segment included several running gags. The Question: Name three famous puppets. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? It is original material for the most part. carnac the magnificent curses A: The ZIP Code. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Forum Novelties Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A: "Coming home." Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. A: Evon Guligan. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? A: Double hernia. Line: 479 May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? 1981 | TV-14 | CC. A: Rough cut. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory The funny story above is a satire or parody. A: Rat pack. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: Where should you address all your mail? Wheres the exit sign? Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. car industry. Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. A: 50 miles per hour. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? johnny carson Memes & GIFs - Imgflip CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora A: Black feet. A: 2001. A: Pat and Debby Boone. Murine? A: The four musketeers. The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Only this curse was not humorous at all. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. A: Sha-na-na. A: A thousand clowns. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? A: The diamond lane. Inning. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. A: Disjoint. Curses, Curses, Curses . The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. hope chest. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. A: Crabgrass. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! Large Old Johnny Carson King of the Night Pin Back Button Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Youre the straight man. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Return to Humor Page After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. Ed McMahon: Shogun. No more years! "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). A: Touch and Go. Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station We are now officially the living who envy the dead! Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Trapper John. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Previous. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. . Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch.