. [He laughs.] Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. Miss Honey: 4. You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. What do you think might be the cause of this? MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. Apply just one simple rule Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. [to MATILDA] You! in . How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Watch Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical | Netflix Official Site To hammer throwing, life, and school Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. I'm the best! [TV Version] . I can't find his frank 'n' beans! google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; Ahh! MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. Bye, Mrs Phelps! I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. She says they make me look pretty! Not dressed in hospital cotton, That's right, sir. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. MRS WORMWOOD And what sort of teacher would I be You have a worm, Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Thank you for suggesting it. What is this trash you're reading? 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. See you tomorrow! Oh, my lovely hair! Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Oh, I look nice. ACROBAT [off-stage] Stood! "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. Looks are more important than books. MRS WORMWOOD It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. MR WORMWOOD Tess of the D'urbervilles . Well? My mommy thinks they're sweet. What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? Matilda: Pokemon Pick Up Lines. 101 Winning Pick-Up Lines To Say Or Text Your Crush - Live Bold and Bloom MISS HONEY Yes, please. Crowd! What was my profit for the day? I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. Would you like some milk? [He sits down in a zen position.]. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. Then get out of town. [to his partner] MATILDA 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) MATILDA And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. Green hair? A shrimp. Why? And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! Was it magic? Can't you sell good cars, Dad? Oh, that's where it's at! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? Harry Wormwood: I stole the cake. I did not! COUPLE 1 Hat seems to be, er . front bottom. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Are they good runners? MATILDA Just go up and introduce yourself. . You don't need happiness or self-esteem. celebrities! Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. Agatha Trunchbull: It was like the entire world went silent for that [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] Good show. How dare they speak to me like that! Oh, Matilda, this is very sad! Yes. My hands are tied. Come along, Bogtrotter. And yet every single life, Mr Wormwood! I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. No. MISS HONEY But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. . the Acrobat's sister. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Just you wait for phys-ed. Before my happy days were Over, MATILDA Oh, no, it's a lovely book. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? It was the biggest burp I had ever done. [turns to Michael] Well, you got a light. MRS PHELPS enters. But here it is, coming true: Do you have a job? You The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. Is the first word . ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. But she is a squib. MRS WORMWOOD She starts the video screens playing again. Honest. Does that mean I can get that new TV? (Bruce!) LAVENDER Flashbulbs go off. 30+ Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 Narrator: . You listen here, my dear, BIG KID [RYAN] [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Look, am I fat? MRS PHELPS PDF MISS HONEY LAVENDER - Theatrikos RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. MATILDA The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. Whatever you do, just don't give in. What about the Russians? I'm not paying it. What? I don't know. Yes, sir. This child doesn't have a "thingie" . MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. See you next week. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. But my mummy likes them! Didn't we?! [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] And if you want to teach success, Don't let her win. A little more bah-da, ba ba ba-da bom! All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? MATILDA I don't know. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. I believe that . All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Did I let myself go. She stops in triumph. Oh, let's put it this way. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. Look at that! But the one thing . MRS PHELPS I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. Come on! That was Miss Honey. I mean, take a look at you and me. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Trunchbull: RUDOLPHO So she's learned a few tricks. Matilda: That's the main thing. You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. Shut up! . MATILDA The woman from COUPLE 1 blows on a birthday cake as the table splits in two and MATILDA stands from behind it, holding a collection of books from one hand. 18 Best Pick-Up Lines Ever (Cheesy, Dirty, Funny, Cute & Romantic) MRS WORMWOOD If you want to throw the hammer for your country. You cannot see squat . Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. National Green Hair Day! With your stupid books and your stupid reading. So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. What am doing here? She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Oh, my head! Harry Wormwood: Oh, it's nothing like that. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] My mummy says I'm a miracle. I think they just fit. This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. You are a teacher. I have my ion you. 3. Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. MATILDA Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Loud, loud, loud, loud! Is it some modern miracle of calculus I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). Stand back, son! Let alone getting the conversation going! Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Harry Wormwood: I'll tell you when you are full. You've seen one before. CHILDREN Please. MISS TRUNCHBULL There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. That I treated the rules with casual disdain? MISS TRUNCHBULL The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. They then saunter off. Narrator: Back before my life had eNded, [His stomach growls.] And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. //-->. Harry Wormwood: At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. 116 Math Pick-Up Lines That Are Positively Adorkable You're just wasting enerGy, You're just wasting energy, My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. . This miracle . You shall be destroyed. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. I'll come back later, then. Amanda Thripp: COUPLE 2 Oh, it will only take a moment. [turns and sees Harry's hair] Knock on the door, Jenny. [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] Just knock on the door. Useless, flamin' car! They're trying to scare us. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. You and I must be Weedles. Mum, would you like to hear a story? Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! You're almost finished. BIG KIDS Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Now, here's a tip: MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. Specialness is de rigueur. I love it here! One look at my face and it's plain to see. [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". Zinnia Wormwood: Babies! 35 Inspirational Matilda Quotes From Roald Dahl's Timeless Tale Like you, I was curious, Chew your food; you're an animal! . Science pick up lines 1. Stop! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. Matilda: Harry Wormwood: Is it time for school yet, mum? The end is happier. I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. %PDF-1.5 ALICE and HORTENSIA Ahh! You wanted cake, you got cake! Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. We can have our cake and it it too! Oops! BRUCE She seems not to know that she's special at all. Zinnia Wormwood: Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? MATILDA I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. MATILDA A member of the mafia! Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. . What a dear! It's out of the question. Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. . so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. . If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. But if I try I can remeMber, But unless you want to suffer, listen up Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: DOCTOR This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! I'm fed up with all this reading! Stop being pathetic, Jenny. A baby, Mrs Wormwood. They sits and unpack their bags. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! 22 Best Matilda quotes ideas | matilda quotes, matilda, quotes